Deciding To Be Whole


April 14, 2016

Homesick Moldova

Homesick Moldova

Homesick Moldova

My husband may be too familiar with the word Homesick. Partially, because I talk about my work on the regular and I ask him to model more than he probably enjoys. But mostly, because the house he grew up in is halfway around the world from Chicago. In less than two weeks, he will return home for the first time in five years and I will officially meet his parents. I will get to know him around the places and the people who raised him. What will I learn about him? Will I understand him better than I already do or will he become more mysterious? 

I love him regardless of what I do or don't discover. The man he is has shown me a fresh perspective - life lived with optimism, passion, and a daily dose of graceful humor.

Before I met Stefan, an interviewer asked me, "What are you homesick for?

My response was, "Bonnaroo, Italy and my other half.

Bonnaroo the festival.

Italy the country.

My other half the person.

I believe in soulmates, because I finally recognize how to be purely honest. I notice a line between desire and self-worth. We are not halves, because we are individually capable of being whole. We inspire each other to be our best selves and together we form a substantial bond. How simple it is to enjoy time with another human. How easy it is to forget this. Sharing is a blessing.

Bonnaroo remains youthful and carefree. 

Italy yearns for culture and experience. 

My other half accepts the unknown and seeks the balance of hard work and resting well - the part where mind and body decide to be whole.

I am not expecting anything in particular...I am just ready.